Hello, my lovelies! So, I know that I’m taking my sweet time to get Broken Melody into your hands, and for that, I apologize.
Let me explain.
Broken Melody digs deeps into the world of drug addiction and mental illness. It covers things that I have personally gone through with firsthand experience.
Granted, there are a LOT of topics that the characters go through that I have not. There are also a handful of things that are covered in detail that I have gone through, with no hesitation, no holds bar: cocaine addiction, being diagnosed (by three different psychiatrists mind you) with bipolar 2 disorder, experience with generalized anxiety and panic attacks, and an extensive history of self-harm…
I’m not looking for sympathy, I don’t need people to tell me how strong I am, how brave I am, or what have you. I just wanted to let you guys know why this has taken me so long. I also wanted to let people know that if they are struggling, they are not alone and to stay strong.
I have kicked my addictions. I haven’t self-harmed in a year, or close to. I’m actively in therapy and I regularly see a psychiatrist. I’m not saying I don’t still struggle. Suicidal ideation and invasive thoughts of self-harm still swing like raging beasts in my mind at the worst of times. My hypomanic moods keep me awake and tell me I don’t need food when I’m at the top. I’ve had delusions (it’s been quite awhile since I’ve had any though, so that’s good) and every now and again I still have hallucinations (just shadow bugs) if I’m in a ‘mixed state’. I still have cravings for cocaine more often than I care to admit.
Writing this [Broken Melody] has caused me to open up some old wounds—wounds I would have rather left locked away in this dark corner of my brain, untouched and unhealed. This is helping, but there was a price to pay in the process.
Re-writing this was needed.
Oh yeah, surprise! This is a major re-write. The original version was written when I was really, really high. Fun, right? *insert sarcastic eye roll here*. I needed to take frequent breaks during the process for my own mental health. It put me in a pretty dark place again, but I promise you, I’m okay. (No really, I am).
End The Stigma.
(All images found on Pinterest. If anyone knows the artist(s) please let me know so I can give them proper credit!)